A little honesty about (the real) insta me!

Sometimes a picture paints a thousand words – so here’s a few words about my favourite and most-liked picture from this week, and what actually goes on behind the social media scenes of this instamummy…

Roll back 4 days to the start of our mini heatwave and I thought a little self-imposed garden stay-cation was just what we needed, on the grounds that:

a) It was going to be too hot to push around the buggy.

b) It was going to be too hot to even put the buggy together.

c) I was going to get myself a nice tan from all the glorious quality time we were going to spend outside!

So I whizzed around adding all the finishing touches to my ‘super-fun’ garden set up… we were going to have a GREAT time!

✔️paddling pool

✔️slide going into paddling pool

✔️hundreds of balls floating in paddling pool (yeah I knew I’d regret that one as soon as I did it)

✔️sprinkler ready

✔️new batteries in bubble machine

✔️pavement chalks dug out from the shed

✔️random inflatable monkey, just because

Can’t wait to see my toddler’s reaction!

One teeny tiny thing which was going to p*ss all over my genius super mama plan – hot weather = no ones getting enough sleep = everyone’s acting like they’ve had extra cranky sprinkles on their home-made organic yoghurt and puréed fruit ice creams (yes I made them once, felt great and now am back to ferreting around in the bottom of the freezer in the hope I can find a Mini Milk somewhere that’s still in date…)

ME “Wow look what’s outside in the garden!”

HIM “No thank you mummy I just want to sit on the sofa and watch my videos.”

ME “But it’s a lovely day we can all go outside and play!”

HIM “No!”

ME “But look at the pool…”

HIM “Can I take my videos in the pool?”

ME “No darling I’m sorry”

HIM “NOOO! I don’t want to do NOTHING!”

ME “Shall we just sit in the pool and have an ice cream?”

HIM “Ok, then I can come back inside and watch my videos.” 

ME (sighs) “Ok.”

Whips camera phone out, quickly takes awesome-looking pictures, heads back inside looking longingly at the sunshine.

There’s always nap time.

Oh wait, of course he’s not going to nap today it’s FAR too hot.

Tries to remember where she put the bottle of fake tan… and the gin.

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