My Alternative Christmas Gift Guide for the Super Mama Who’d Rather Be Drinking Gin…

Yes, it’s definitely that time of year. There’s no mistaking it. Christmas.

The department store ads have commenced their battle, lights are up in town, and my inbox is awash with temping offers and discounts way before Black Friday is even on the horizon.

Are you like me and leave even thinking about Christmas presents until you’ve seen the Coca Cola song ‘The Holidays Are Coming’? Trust me it gets earlier every year, it’s coming… any day now… place your bets!

So just in case you happen to see the official call to action and have a mini meltdown, I’ve shared my personal ultimate Christmas Gift Guide right here for you to read from the comfort of your sofa, mulled wine and mince pie in hand (it’s NEVER too early)


Might as well start with the hardest first. Other halves are inevitably a b*gger to buy for, especially if they’re men, even more especially if they’re anything like my husband. There’s no handy hints from catalogues ‘accidently’ left open by the biscuit tin or carefully orchestrated ‘sighs’ when you pass that shop window for the third time in half an hour…

If you ask him what he wants he will of course reply “I just want you to be happy”


OK darling, if you want me to be happy what I really really want this Christmas is TO GET SOME F*CKING SLEEP!!!

Sleep deprivation from our babies aside, you treat me to some amazing sounds night after night I am SUCH a lucky lady, which is why you’re getting this…

Only £9.99 and I KNOW I’m not alone in this Mamas. Find this awesome sexy anti snore chin strap at


I’ve often been told once you have kids present for your parents are easy – give them a cute picture of the kids every time.

I agree!

But let’s go one better, because you know all those gorgeous photo frames don’t come cheap and in my parents house it’s almost like a fight to the death competition to get your photo up on their mantelpiece (last count, I had two. Just saying).

So this year I’m giving them the gift of being able to print their own pictures, and just update the lovely frame I bought them last time.

Except, now all I need is a good hour of my time trying to show my parents how Whatsapp works or the magic of being able to see all the cute photos of their grandchildren on Facebook (sigh, we’ve all been there).

£15 from


First of all, MASSIVE thanks to Nick Jr, for having more adverts than actual programming. HUGE. No, I’m not paying £80 for a shiny Paw Patroller. And no, Im not getting my little boy a game where you have to a) pick bogeys b) touch poo c) have a pie slapped in your face.

Let’s save some money. Selection box from Poundland and a large piece of bubble wrap which I’ll colour green the night before and tell him it’s a ‘dinosaur jungle’ It will keep him entertained FAR longer than the ridiculously expensive Playmobil castle we got him for his birthday…

Only £1 from https://the


Cardboard boxes from all the above. Done. But if you have already been a bit recycle-happy and they’re covered in bin juice (yes, baby would probably still enjoy, but no) you can pick up some lovely cheap fresh ones quite easily…

This one is £1.08 from


This is actually a top tip, which will see you through not only Christmas, but birthdays and any other special ‘Day’ we decide to conjure up next. Stick a little wooden box in front of your kids with some felt tips, PVA and sparkly sh*t. And in about 10 mins there you have it, a ‘beautiful’ bespoke keepsake which will forever have to be displayed pride of place no matter how f*cking ugly it turns out…

£1 from

So if you add up all the above you’ll have plenty of change from a crisp £50 note (the kind you only ever see from distant relatives, given to the kids and immediately spent on a massive takeaway…)

So I think it’s only fair that us Super Mamas get to spend it on ourselves….

£19.99 from


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